BDSM doesn’t have to include a full dungeon, though it can if that’s what you’re into. In fact, anything from tying your lover to the bedposts with silk scarves to more extreme forms of discipline is a type of BDSM. Here are some tips if you’re just starting to explore this side of your sexuality.
1. Talk it out. People rarely spend a lot of time talking about sex with their partners, but in a BDSM scenario, there’s nothing more important than communication. It’s how you determine what someone is willing to do, or have done to them, and where they draw the line.
Come up with a list of things you want to do, a list of things you don’t and another of things that you’d be willing to explore. Share it with your partner and make sure they’re on the same page as you before you start.
2. Choose a safe word. It’s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment. A safe word ensures that the action will stop if someone is uncomfortable.
Don’t use words like “stop” or “no” as your safe words, especially if you’re playing games where one may enjoy hearing the other beg them to stop. Instead, use a term you’d never use in that situation, like “headphones” or “agenda.”
4. Stay safe. While a little pain is the whole point for some people, it’s important to make sure that nobody is seriously injured or scared during the BDSM experience.
Concentrate whips and paddle strokes to fleshier parts of the body to avoid inflicting serious wounds. Use soft paraffin candles for wax play instead of hard beeswax candles. Make sure any restraints are loose enough that they won’t cut off circulation.
5. Talk again. Conversations after the experience are as important as before in making sure all parties are emotionally and sexually satisfied. Talking to your partner about what you liked and didn’t like will make future experiences even better.
Bdsm Toys and Accessories
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